Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Confessions of an Adulterous Woman



Oh my, what a day. Sometimes it stinks to be a woman. I feel like I'm a nobody. That's why I'm attracted to him. When I'm in his embrace, I feel like I'm worth something. I know it is wrong, but in my heart it feels right.

I was so overwhelmed with the experience that, at first, I didn't know what was happening. Then it hit me. There were others in the room pulling us apart. The shame is more than I can bear. Caught. Naked. The yelling, the curses, the accusations (all true) and the forced march to the Temple of God.

Guilty and unclean, dirty. I've never felt this awful before. The world sees me as I am. Through burning tears and rushing thoughts I understand that they have presented me to a young rabbi. I've been set up. I am trapped. I think this is only partly about me. They seem to be using me to get at him.

The young rabbi, Jesus, has been set up, too. We are both trapped with no where to go. I'm going to die and there is nothing that I can do to stop it. I do not want to stop it. There is no reason to go on living.

What is he doing? Why isn't Jesus sneering and yelling like the rest? What is he writing in the sand? Why doesn't he do something?

The silence is agonizing. But wait. What is Jesus saying? I can not believe it. "Those without sin cast the first stone." What does he mean? More silence. The traps have been sprung, only neither of us were caught. I can't look up. All I see are feet–and one gentle but strong hand. My head is pounding and swaying under the guilt…and then it happens.

"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

I slowly look up and around. The only face I see is that of a kind, compassionate man who sees me as a person. "Neither do I condemn you. Go and leave your life of sin."

He treats me like somebody. That is why I am attracted to Him. When I am in His loving embrace, I know I am worth something.

1 comment:

bethany. said...

I was gone the week this was done! Moving--its good. Sorry to have missed out!